“Great, because I’ve always wanted to tell the story of the legendary warrior, Brünnhilde.“
Anna: Kristoff, before I begin, would you hand me one of those logs so I can feed the fire? Phew. It’s getting chilly.
Kristoff: Yeah. Here you go, Anna.
Olaf: Wait, so fires need to eat? But I don’t? Wow, the world is crazy.
Anna: In some ways, Olaf. But actually, the world used to be even crazier, back in the time of giants.
Giant: Roarrr!
Anna: Long ago, giants had invaded our lands. An army rose up in a desperate but hopeless attempt to drive away the invaders.
Giant: You can’t hurt me, human. Come here!
Anna: Leading the doomed army was a fierce and clever shield maiden named Brünnhilde. After many days, she grew weary of combat.
Brünnhilde: Hey! Giant! Quit throwing my warriors around and leave these lands!
Giant: I don’t take orders from you!
Brünnhilde: Huh. I suppose not. Alright then, who do you take orders from?
Giant: From Grandmother, the giant witch Memir!
Brünnhilde: And where can I find her?
Giant: Uhhh…
Anna: The giant told Brünnhilde that she’d have to enter the land of giants, traverse the Dark Forest, and climb to the highest of the High Peaks. There, she must sneak into Memir’s Cave of Terror to face her wrath.
Brünnhilde: Dark Forest, check! Highest of the High Peaks, check! Sneak into Cave of Terror, check! Why is it always a Cave of Terror, why not a Cave of Scrumptious Desserts?
Memir: Oh, Mortal! I’m the giant witch Memir! Grandmother to the giant horde! Why are you trespassing in my cave, huh? Tell me, before I make a meal of you!
Anna: Now, Brünnhilde knew she couldn’t defeat such a giant in direct combat, let alone a giant witch. She’d have to use her wits.
Brünnhilde: Memir, you have sent your giants to invade our lands! I have travelled far and faced countless dangers to tell you to knock it off! Just stop! Call your brood home!
Memir: Hah! Or you’ll do what, exactly, tiny human?
Brünnhilde: I… I will summon my giant dragon!
Memir: Are you serious?
Brünnhilde: Totally serious. Look behind you.
Anna: She used her hands to make a shadow puppet on the cave wall.
Brünnhilde: Roarrr!
Memir: Ah! A shadowy dragon! Okay, okay, I will do as you say! Just leave and never return!
Anna: Tricked and defeated, Memir used her magic to call her giants back. And Brünnhilde began her long journey home.
Brünnhilde: And Father said those ventriloquism lessons wouldn’t pay off.
Anna: The end!
Olaf: I… love it! Stories like that teach me so much.
Anna: Really? What did you learn?
Olaf: Well, I learned that you guys need to get me some ventriloquism lessons!
Kristoff: Well, I think the main takeaway, Olaf, is that words and wit can be more effective than war.
Olaf: Ohhh! Yeah, I still kinda want a puppet.